News Story 6

A Comforting Place for Victims of Domestic Violence

Bemidji’s Northwoods Coalition for Family Safety Provides Refuge for Families Dealing with Violence

 By Amy Borgman

1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. It’s an unsettling statistic and the subject is of growing concern throughout the world. Pop musicians Eminem and Rhianna have shed light on the issues of domestic violence recently with their song, “Love the Way You Lie”. Some critics say it glorifies the subject while others argue that it raises awareness for the horrific act. The fact that Rhianna was in an abusive relationship with rapper Chris Brown blurs the message even more. Kathryn Lavelle of Bemidji’s Northwoods Coalition for Family Safety had this to say about it: “That kind of thing is tough because I am a singer/songwriter and use music as a form of catharsis – especially during the ten years that I was in an abusive relationship.” She believes that responsibility and reason set in with parental control and monitoring. “My son wanted to listen to Eminem when he was younger, and I had to explain the type of things that he was rapping about so my son didn’t think the violence and hatred was true or right.”

Kathryn sifts through e-mails from family, friends, and clients.

           photo by Amy Borgman

But what about the children that don’t have parents who care about what they listen to? They have no one to explain the negative connotations of abuse and aggression. They grow up thinking it’s an acceptable way to live their lives. Those are the people that the Northwoods Coalition for Family Safety strives to help.

            The foundation was formed in 1978 and was originally called the Northwoods Coalition For Battered Women. Its inception was inspired by the Battered Women’s Movement of the late 1970’s; they changed the name two years ago so that it addressed a broader demographic. The program is funded by donations from the Minnesota Department of Public Safety, the Child and Adult Care Food Program, the Northwest Minnesota Foundation, Open Your Heart to the Hungry and Homeless, the Bemidji Rotary Club, and community members dedicated to ending domestic abuse.

The Coalition is located at 1101 Beltrami Ave NW, Bemidji.

photo by Amy Borgman

 The organization has recently added the Nokomagiisis Program, which provides assistance services for Native elders and children undergoing abuse. Unfortunately, it is a growing problem within reservations that causes emotional and mental strife in many families. The Northwoods Coalition offers counseling, group sessions, and educational outreach in tribal communities to help eliminate the issue. Kathryn feels that a lot of the abuse stems from historical trauma and isolation. The Coalition is helping to alleviate such issues on reservations, but it is a daunting task. It is a trend that is built into families and abusive patterns often live on in the children or next generations. In a lot of cases, if a child has an abusive parent they are most likely to be abusive in their adolescence or adult life as well. Kathryn claimed, “I’ve seen a lot of children come back as adults in abusive relationships and it’s very disheartening.”

Loving photos grace the walls of Kathryn’s office to bring happiness to her workday.

photo by Amy Borgman

 Staff and volunteers at the Coalition understand that sheltering victims of domestic violence won’t stop the issue entirely, that is why they are thankful for other programs like the Boys and Girls Club, the Evergreen House, La Casa de Esperanza, and many other shelters. The Boys and Girls Club and the Evergreen House help to provide healthy growth for children and young adults in transitional periods. And La Casa de Esperanza (House of Hope) is a Latina organization for battered Latina women living in St. Paul and throughout the metro area. The growth of supportive organizations such as these will demand more people to become aware of the prevailing issues of domestic violence and hopefully want to help to stop it.

The one demographic that has not been mentioned yet as a victim of domestic violence is man. Kathryn said that the Coalition has about 2 cases per year that deal with men in abusive relationships with women. The overall number of men reporting cases of abuse is surprisingly high – about 600,000 per year compared to 1.5 million cases towards women.

Frightening reminders of violence are seen on posters around the building. 

photo by Amy Borgman

This past month was Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the coalition participated in many events throughout the city. On October 9^th, the coalition organized a Peace Walk to spread awareness and share victims’ stories. On the First Friday Art Cruise, at the Wild Hare, Kathryn Lavelle showcased poetry that was catharsis for her while she was in an abusive relationship. Then, on October 29th they held a wreaths and roses ceremony for fatalities due to domestic violence in front of the Bemidji Courthouse. Kathryn argues that is where the biggest changes should occur to eliminate the traumas of abuse – in our legal system. If protection laws received more attention from officials, then maybe there wouldn’t have to be a coalition anymore. “If we shut down, I would be ecstatic because that would mean an end to domestic violence.”

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